Performed by adam sandler, frank, and randi

Transcribed by a fan

"and now a cow at bat in the bottom of the 6th inning of a little league game getting hit by a pitch"

[baseball sounds and cow bell ringing,ball is hit and hits cow]
Cow: moo

"and now a cow who goes skydiving for the very first time, and thinks his parachute isn't gonna open when it finnally does 40 feet from the ground"

[plane sounds]
M1: alright cow, don't even think about just jump and enjoy the ride down, quit being a pansy and do it
Cow: moo
[ripcord sounds]
Cow: moo,mrr
[parachute opens]
Cow: moow
[thud]

"and now a cow who goes to the chicken hot drivethru and then gets halfway home before realising they forgot his french fries"

[cow opening paper bag]
Cow: moo,moo
[car screeches, and turns back around]
Cow: mrr

"and now a cow winning first prise in the bellyflop contest at spring break and then realises he can't swim"

[cow walking towards pool, big splash]
Cow: moo
[crowd cheering]
Cow: mrr,mrr
[underwater moo]

"and now a club gets a dance at a classy strip club, when a bouncer notices he doesn't have any shoes on"

F1: ohh baby you like it when i dance with you
Cow: moo
F1: uh uh uh, you can't touch that
Cow: moo
Bouncer: keep your hands off the girl
Cow: moo
Bouncer: hey cow, you got no shoes on you gotta leave
Cow: moo
M2: hey watch it cow

"and now a cow playing tennis against farmer stinky thumbs arbuckle when the farmer makes an obvious bad call"

[tennis ball being hit]
Farmer: that was out
Cow: moo
Farmer: don't tell me it wasn't cause i saw it and that was out
Cow: moo
Farmer: by at least 3 feet that's how far, come in look there is still a mark where it's out
Cow: moo
Farmer: don't tell that was from an old ball, that was this ball and this ball was out
Cow: mrr
Farmer: you cannot see from that angle
Cow: moo

"and now a cow recieves a phone call who he thinks is from a famous actor but he soon finds out it's just a practical joke"

[phone rings, cow picks it up]
Farmer: hello may i speak to the cow
Cow: moo
Farmer: hi, i'm a famous actor
Cow: moo
Farmer: oh, thank you very much, i was wondering if you would like to go to dinner with me
Cow: moo
Farmer: why don't i make reservations?
Cow: moo
Farmer: and why don't i tell you my real name? farmer stinky thumbs arbuckle
Cow: mrr
Farmer: take that fatty
Cow: mrr
[slams down phone]

"and now a cow gets his revenge on farmer stinky thumbs arbuckle"

[car sounds]
Farmer: pull over, pull the vehicle to the side of the road, i am warning you for the last time.
[car hits farmer]
Farmer: oooh
Cow: mooooooooooooo