Well, it was on this Monday morning and the day had been calm and fine.
To the Harbour Grace Excursion with the boys who have a time
And just before the sailor took the gangway from the pier
I saw some fella haul me wife aboard as a volunteer

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Oh me, oh my, I heard me old wife cry
Oh me, oh my, I think I'm gonna die!
Oh me, oh my, I heard me old wife say,
"I wish I'd never taken this excursion around the bay"

We had full three hundred souls aboard, oh what a splendid sight!
Matt Strong in regimentals for to make our spirits bright.
And me self being in the double, when a funny things they'd say
They choke themselves from laughing when they'd see us in the bay

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My wife she got no better, she turned a sickly green
I fed her cake and candy, fat pork and kerosene
Castor-oil and sugar of candy, I rubbed pure oil on her face
And I said she'd be a dandy when we reaches Harbour Grace!

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My wife she got no better, my wife me darling dear
The screeches from her throat you could hear in Carbonear
I tried every place in Harbour Grace, tried every store and shop,
To get her something for a cure or take her to the hop

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She died below the Brandies as we were coming back
We buried her in the ocean, wrapped up in the Union Jack
So now I am a single man, in search of a pretty face
And the woman that says she'll have me, sure I'm off for Harbour Grace!

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