Frank zappa (guitar, vocals)
Ian underwood (electric piano)
George duke (trombone)
Jeff simmons (bass, vocals)
Aynsley dunbar (drums)
The phlorescent leech and eddie (vocals)

Hi and howdy doody.
I'm a union man
You can call me rudy.
Any of you boys not paid up on your cards?

You know i'm pleased to meet ya
Been tryin all day to reach ya
The union's here to help everyone of you rock 'n' roll stars.
Rock 'n' roll stars.

You always know we
Care so much
About the way they
Treat ya.

They say they got a lot of
Reasons every day..

Just to get
A chance to meet you.
To check and see
No wrong been done
That's one good reason
I carry a gun.

I hope the bulge
Don't bum you out.
Wanna get a good look?
Let me pull it right out!
Let me pull it right out!
Let me pull it right out!
Let me whip it right out!

Hi and howdy doody.
I'm a union man
You can call me rudy.
Any of you boys not paid up on your cards?

You know i'm pleased to meet ya
Been tryin all day to reach ya
The union's here to help everyone of you rock 'n' roll stars.
Hahahaha!

Welcome to chicago
Welcome to l.a.
Welcome to our local here
You'll always hear me say

The work is here; it's a couple a bucks.
I'm sure you're glad to pay.
Whip it out, here is your receipt
Now i'll go away, now i'll go away...
Now i'll go away, now i'll go away...
Away-y-y! away-y-y! away-y-y!
Doowah.