One 'n one is eleven!
Two 'n two is twenty-two!
Won't somebody kindly tell me,
What's the government is tryin' t' do...
Dickie's just to tricky
For a chump like me to use
You take that sub-committee seriously, boy
You could get a seizure from the evenin' news

Millions 'n millions of dollars...
Much as he might need...
He could open up a chain of motels, people
On the highway, yes indeed!

Quadrafonic desperation!
Just might be some confinement loaf all up under your bed
If you just might pinch a little loaf in your slumber
The FBI gonna get your number
THE FBI
GONNA GET YOUR NUMBER
THE FBI
GONNA GET YOUR NUMBER
etc.

Tryin' not to worry
Tryin' not to care
But you know, I get delighted
When that soup goes over there

Can't have no private conversation
Nowhere
In the USA
Can't wait 'til the rest of the people all over the the world
Find out their government
Is just the same ol' way
Every day...

The gangster stepped right up,
'N kissed him on the lips good-bye
Made him a cocksucker by proxy, yes he did,
An' he didn't even bat an eye!

The man in the White House -- oooh!
He's got a conscience black as sin!
There's just one thing I wanna know --
How'd that asshole ever manage to get in?