When i'm five
I will wash my face me hands all by myself
When i'm five
I will chew and spit tabacco like my grandfather jones
'cause i'm only four and five is far away

When i'm five
I will read the magazines in mummy's drawer
When i'm five
I will walk behind the soldiers in the may day parade
'cause i'm only four and grown-ups walk too fast

Yesterday was horrid day, 'cause raymond kicked my shin
And mummy says if i am good, she'll let me go to school in august
Daddy shouted loud at mummy and i dropped my toast at breakfast
And i laughed when bonzo licked my face, because it tickled
I wonder why my daddy cries and how i wish that i was nearly five

When i'm five
I will catch a butterfly and eat it and i won't be sick
When i'm five
I will jump in puddles, laugh in church and marry my mum
And i'll let my daddy do the washing-up

If i close one eye, the people on that side can't see me
I get headaches in the morning and i rode on freddie's tricycle
And everywhere was funny, when i ran down to the sweetshop
Then i fell and bleeded-up my knee and everybody soppied me

I saw a photograph of jesus and i asked him if he'd make me five
I saw a photograph of jesus and i asked him if he'd make me five
When i'm five
When i'm five
When i'm oah