Oh lighten up, where's your sense of humor
They're just tiny little rumors
That i started 'cause i'm lookin' out for you
Oh settle down, i'm just a little jealous
And i'm sure those other fellas
Never once believed the lies i told were true

Like the time i told that cowboy that you used to be a man
And the doctor you were datin' that you hide your wedding band
Even if i am responsible for scaring them away
You really ought to thank me, i was doin' you a favor
'cause it never woulda worked out anyway

Oh can't you see, the reason that i'm doin'
All the crazy things i'm doin'
Is because i really care about you girl
And i'll admit i go a little farther
Than i know i probably oughta
But it's all because i need you in my world

Like the time i told that lawyer that you spent a year in jail
And the salesman you were seein' you hang out at cheap motels
Even if i am responsible for scaring them away
You really ought to thank me, i was doin' you a favor
'cause it never woulda worked out anyway

I can't stand the thought of you with anybody else
I know i've gone overboard but i can't help myself

Like the time i told that dentist you had seven little kids
And you doubled as a dancer at the strip joint on the ridge
Even if i am responsible for scaring him away
You really ought to thank me, i was doin' you a favor
'cause it never woulda worked out anyway

It's all because i love you and i can't stop thinkin' of you
And it never woulda worked out anyway