Announcer: "the stars of our show, and america's "shiekest" couple, eddie sparks and dixie leonard!"

James: i remember you.
Bette: i'd like to say that you're in my dreams.
James: you're the one who made my dreams come true
Bette: you're usually dead,
James: a few
Bette: without a head,
James: kisses ago.
Bette: and lots of natives are picking their teeth with your bones.
James: i remember, too,
Bette: oh, what a dream!
James: a distant bell,
Bette: it comes at night and taunts me,
James: and stars that fell
Bette: and, like your jokes, it haunts me until
James: like rain out of the blue.
Bette: i'm blue as your face as the last breath leaves you.
James: when my life is through,
Bette: i'll jump for joy.
James: and the angels ask me to recall
Bette: and when winchell asks me to recall
Who's a chump and a heel.
James: the thrill of it all,
Bette: who's the biggest schlemeil?
Both: then i will tell them i remember . . .
James: "so, uh, it's my birthday comin' up."
Bette: "yeah, i know, eddie."
James: "but, what do you give a guy that's got everything?"
Bette: "uh, penicillin?"
James: "hmmm, hey dix? you ever been married?"
Bette: "oh, yeah, eddie, twice!"
James: "children?"
Bette: "no, silly! grown men! tell me, eddie, what's the most romantic thing a woman ever said to you?"
James: "are you sure you're not a cop?"
Then i will tell them i remember . . . you.
Bette: you
James: and you.