This is a public warning
Be careful when you're out
We are having freaky weather
There's a lot of it about
On the terraces is it swinging
He's a monkey on the roof
You've seen him on the telly
So let me introduce you're host tonight

T.o.p.m.a.n. he's naughty by nature
T.o.p.m.a.n. on doubles and chasers
T.o.p.m.a.n. guilette or a razor
T.o.p.m.a.n. shooting guns on the high street of love

In a crowd it's hard to spot him
But anonymity can cost
He's never cheap or cheerful
He's hugo and he's boss
He's riding through the desert on a camel light
And on a magic carpet he'll fly away tonight
Open sesame

T.o.p.m.a.n. he's naughty by nature
T.o.p.m.a.n. on doubles and chasers
T.o.p.m.a.n. guilette or a razor
T.o.p.m.a.n. shooting guns on the high street of love
T.o.p.m.a.n. sees her in double
T.o.p.m.a.n. then pukes on the pavement
T.o.p.m.a.n. likes her all clean and shaven
T.o.p.m.a.n. shooting guns on the high street of love

T.o.p.m.a.n. he's naughty by nature
T.o.p.m.a.n. on doubles and chasers
T.o.p.m.a.n. guilette or a razor
T.o.p.m.a.n. shooting guns on the high street of love
T.o.p.m.a.n. shooting guns on the high street of love
T.o.p.m.a.n. shooting guns on the high street of love