Ahhh! They did it! Woo! We got some fresh fills for your fat chicken ass
to snack on, bitch!
So here, start wit' a slice of this fresh piggy pie, mother fuka!
The first little piggy, his house is made of wood,
He lives in a chicken turkey piggy neighborhood.
He likes to fuck his sister, and drink his moonshine,
A typical redneck filthy fuckin' swine!
I rode into town with my axe in my holster,
Everybody knows about the wicked piggy roaster.
A farmer at the border, he tried to take me out,
I drew my axe with the quickness, and cut his chicken feathers out!
Walked in the village, and to the piggy's place,
He opened up his door, and popped me in the face.
It blew me off the porch, and cracked my head in half,
But I'm a Juggalo, so it only made me laugh. (Hehe!)
Forty in hand, I rose from the dead,
And threw with all my might, I made a ping noise off his head.
Since we out west, I had a little fun,
And pulled his fuckin' tongue out the back of his cranium!
(Chorus:)
Three little piggies, to make a piggy pie.
There's nothing like the sound when you hear a piggy die,
I might use a gun, (No!)
I might use an axe, (yes!)
The carnival's in town, come and get your piggie snacks
(end chorus)
The second little piggy, his house is made of brick,
And this little piggy is a mu the fuckin' dick.
He sits on his bench and gets all the respect,
But if I get a chance, I'm goin' straight for the neck.
He walked in the room, and everybody rose,
Lopped off bucket chillin' underneath my clothes.
First they let the piggy, now you can finally sit,
But what this piggy don't know is he's about to get his neck wet
Now I see the baliff, I'm thinkin' what the fuck?
I can smoke this room before his hearing aid will pick it up.
Old ass man, I let him get away,
that tired mu the fucka, probably die tomorrow anyway.
Here come the piggy, it's time for my case,
His eyes are blood red with a wicked lookin' face.
He saw my joker's smile, and sentenced me to die,
So I racked on the bucket, made it fuckin' rain pork rhines!
(chorus)
(chorus)
The last little piggy, his house is made of gold,
He lives in a mansion on his own private road,
I started walking down it, the gaurd he told me wait,
I bounced off his head and did a Jackie Chan over the gate!
Cuz this little piggy, must definatly die,
I'm a lop his nugget off and toss it in the sky.
And then I watch the moon take the form of the devil,
And pull it out the sky, and beat it with a shovel.
People in my city, they fight for they meals,
He sleeps on a matress stuffed with hundred dollar bills.
A richie is the devil, he never really made it,
So I'm a take his money stock and stuff his face wit' it.
Opened up his door, he's sleeping in his bed,
I grabbed a brick of gold, and laid it upside his head.
He begged for his life, I told him it's too late,
I took away his dough and watched the devil suffocate, cuz I need
(chorus)
(chorus)
(chorus)
(chorus)
Rrrrriiinnng.
"Hotline."
"H Hello?"
"Whuddup."
"What's up. I not sure that I wanna live any more, that's what's up."
"Hold On! Helloo?"
"I I need someone to tolk to."
"Call your mom."
"My mother died last year."
"Serves her right, bitch! Hahahaha! I'm just playin' fuck nuts. Listen!
Whenever you're feelin' low, just page me, and I'll call you."
"You will?"
"Sure. I'll call you a nerdy bitch for botherin' me! Now! Don't blow your fuckin' head off."
"Why not? Who cares if I do?"
"The poor guy who's gotto clean that shit up! If you're gonna do it, do it outside or somethin'"
"Y You think I won't really do it, don't ya?"
"Honestly, I could give a rat's ass."
"You think I won't, huh? You think I'm kidding? You think I'm "
"Do it! Do it Fucker! Bring me the gun, I'll fuckin' do it for ya!"
BOOM!
"Hello? Hello? Are ya there?"
"Hello?"
"I knew ya wouldn't do it, ya scary bitch!"