Who met this one on the m1
Who hasn't stopped sucking his thumb
Who very straight and never grins
Who cars what car he's driving in

He is because he saw it on a commercial break
And if he doesn't get what he wants then he'll get a headache
Because he needs it, wants it, almost loves it
He's here on his own, on globe alone
Here on his own

Who joined health club to glisten
Into hi-fi precision
Who's mobile phone gives him the bone
Who very keen on Sharon Stone

He is because he saw it on a commercial break
And if he doesn't get what he wants then he'll get a headache
Because he needs it, wants it, almost loves it
He's here on his own, on globe alone
Here on his own, on globe alone

Who eats at the new brasserie
Who only ever gets Mary
Who wouldn't be seen at bedtime
Without putting Calvin Kleins on

He is because he saw it on a commercial break
And if he doesn't get what he wants then he'll get a headache
Because he needs it, wants it, almost loves it
He's here on his own, on globe alone
Here on his own, on globe alone, here on his own