We're professional punkers, we come from the suburbs
After 15 years we're still having fun
Now we're over 30, not looking so purty
At least we got a beat up accordian

That's Erik our drummer, his father's a plumber
He drank enough booze to get Rhode Island drunk
Now sober but smelly, he's got one big belly
From living the good life provided by punk

Singin', singin', singin'...

Buy me a Beck's beer or pass me a bong
Gimme some bushmills I'll sing you this song
Open another big box of cheap wine
We're over 30, we're doin' just fine

Hefe's not satanic, he's one hip Hispanic
He grew up with one dozen cousins and kin
He wears baggy pants, he knows how to break dance
You've seen him do every impersonation

{Well, blow me down, Olive!
Heavens to Murgatroyd, it's Eric Melvin, even! Father!}

That's Melvin on six string - "So tell me I can't sing"
Oh I think you can, just don't do it 'round me
Stick with what you know, playing guitar solo
With Hetson and Watt in punk karaoke

Singin', singin', singin'...

Buy me a Beck's beer or pass me a bong
Give me some bushmills I'll sing you this song
Open another big box of cheap wine
We're over 30 we're doin' just fine

My name is Fat Mike, I'm obsessed with big lesbians
I've been a punk rocker for most of my life
I sing kinda flat, I'm not really so fat
But that's how I hit 'em, with hook or with slice

"I'm Kent I do sounds", look he's getting so round
"I'm Timmy The turtle", he counts and he clicks
"I'm gay... I don't care", someone please cut his hair
"I'm Limo from Scotland, so give me haggis"

Singin'...
Singin'...
Singin'...

Buy me a Beck's beer or pass me a bong
Gimme some bushmills I'll sing you this song
Open another big box of cheap wine
We're over 30 we're doin' just fine

Buy me a Beck's beer or pass me a bong
Gimme some bushmills, I'll sing you this song
Bum me a qualude or chop me a lime
We're pushin' 40 we're doin' just fine

{Buy me Newcastle, or pass me a bong
Gimme Glenlivet, I'll sing you this song
Open another big box of cheap wine
If you take the low road, then I'll take the high}