How I've looked for someone who
Plays up on my heart like you
Tall and dark and handsome and sweet
Someone who would take my heart
Maybe tear my soul apart
See I lay myself at your feet

You would, if you could
You would, and you should
And you would if you could
But I can't!

I'm sure that you can
I know you're a man
And you would if you could
But I shan't!

When you're a bad boy
You go my way
But you're a good boy
And so you say regretfully
You would, if you could
You could, and you should
And you would if you could
Oh it's impossible!

You would, if you could
You would, and you should
And you would if you could
But I don't!
Oh I'm sure that you'd do
Just look at the view
And you would if you could
But I won't!

You're like an apple
On top of the tree
I'd like to shake you
I'd like to see you
Falling for me.

You would, if you could
You could, and you should
And you would if you could-
Oh, Bill,
Oh I wish you would...