Lyrics: Jack Murphy/Linda Eder

There are those who manage such a charmed existence
Lucky ladies who've been fortunate since birth
All the major domos know them
And obligingly will show them
Straight to the only table left on earth
These are people for whom life is not a challenge
They've got savoir faire that oozes pedigree
They're the women men will die for
And millionaires will buy for
But I fear these ladies aren't me...

The cake life served me
is upside down
The soup du jour I'm having spills
On my best gown
I get all wet
Each time I surf the net, yet
Baby, don't ask me why

It always rains on
My one day off
And my blind date turned into
Boris Karloff
It's lie a curse
I go from bad to worse but
Baby, don't ask me why

Funny...
Down at the IRS
I get the guy who never says "yes"
God, what a mess
It's all so taxing
Maybe...
Life is a cosmic gaff
Fashioning punch lines into a laugh
Too cute by half
I don't know, don't ask me And then I saw you
That rainy day...
Drenched to the bone and all alone
What can I say
When you are near
My motor hits high gear, dear
No clue, don't ask me why

Maybe...
This is the perfect deal
This time the schmo has found her schlemiel
Now maybe we'll
Find that happy ending
Maybe...
You are the missing cog
Maybe the princess lost in the fog
Kiss the one frog
Who was worth befriending

The world will go on
Much as before
I'll lose the keys right after
You lock the door
It seems to me
That we were meant to be, see
We've got compatibility
You're the pie and I'm the face
You're the shoe tripping on my lace
You're the yin and I'm the yang
You're the lemon and I'm meringue
You're the fourth of my July
Together we'll blow sky high, and
we'll never say good-bye...but
Baby, don't ask me why

Why don't elephants fly?
Why are high heels so high?
Why is Ru Paul a guy?
Baby, don't ask me why