When i woke up this morning, things were lookin' bad
Seem like total silence was the only friend i had
Bowl of oatmeal tried to stare me down... and won
And it was twelve o'clock before i realized
That i was havin' .. no fun

Chorus:
But fortunately i have the key to escape reality
And you may see me tonight with an illegal smile
It don't cost very much, but it lasts a long while
Won't you please tell the man i didn't kill anyone
No i'm just tryin' to have me some fun

Last time i checked my bankroll,
It was gettin' thin
Sometimes it seems like the bottom
Is the only place i've been
I chased a rainbow down a one-way street... dead end
And all my friends turned out to be insurance salesmen

Repeat chorus:

Well, i sat down in my closet with all my overalls
Tryin' to get away
From all the ears inside my walls
I dreamed the police heard
Everything i thought... what then?
Well i went to court
And the judge's name was hoffman

Ah but fortunately i have the key to escape reality
And you may see me tonight with an illegal smile
It don't cost very much, but it lasts a long while
Won't you please tell the man i didn't kill anyone
No i'm just tryin' to have me some fun
Well done, hot dog bun, my sister's a nun