I just found out yesterday that linda goes to mars
Every time i sit and look at pictures of used cars
She'll turn on her radio and sit down in her chair
And look at me across the room, as if i wasn't there

Chorus:
Oh my stars! my linda's gone to mars
Well i wish she wouldn't leave me here alone
Oh my stars! my linda's gone to mars
Well, i wonder if she'd bring me something home.

Something, somewhere, somehow took my linda by the hand
And secretly decoded our sacred wedding band
For when the moon shines down up on our happy, humble home
Her inner space gets tortured by some outer space unknown.

Repeat chorus:

Now i ain't seen no saucers 'cept the ones upon the shelf
And if i ever seen one i'd keep it to myself
For if there's life out there somewhere beyond this life on earth
Then linda must have gone out there and got her money's worth.

Repeat chorus:

Yeah, i wonder if she'd bring me something home.