Vampires, mummies, and the holy ghost
By: jimmy buffett, roger guth, jim mayer, peter mayer
1994
--spoken:
"ohhhh rock 'n roll is a scary business. no hit records, no mtv
Videos...you'll never make it here...scary. not! let's do it
Coral reefers...

Looked in my laptop, what did i see?
A flashin' message says today therapy
Rather walk through fire than converse with my shrink
But i'm getting better that's what some people think

Talk about denial and dysfunctional things
Head's like a bell somedays it dongs and it dings
My brain play tricks on me it likes to shift gears
Spend lots of money, but i'm tacklin' my fears

Chorus:
Vampires, mummies and the holy ghost
These are the things that terrify me the most
No aliens, psychopaths or mtv hosts
Scare me like vampires, mummies and the holy ghost
Ooohh

Had a dream last night took a time travellin' ride
Back to my childhood where those monsters reside
They nack on innocence and dine on self-esteem
But i like to be in touch with what makes me scream

Chorus:
Vampires, mummies and the holy ghost
These are the things that terrify me the most
No aliens, psychopaths or mtv host
Scares me like vampires, mummies and the holy ghost

I was never ever frightened by the murderer on our block
He nurtured orchids and raised hamsters
The neighborhood is still in shock

La la la la, la la la la....
La la la la, la la la la la la

La la la la, la la la la....
La la la la, la la la la la la

So many dragons lurking out in the fog
So many crazy people mumblin' monologues
It's not the tales of stephen king that i've read
I need protection from the things in my head
Like...

Chorus:
Vampires, mummies and the holy ghost
These are the things that terrify me the most
No aliens, psychopath or mtv host
Scares me like vampires, mummies and the holy ghost

Chorus:
Vampires, mummies and the holy ghost
These are the things that terrify me the most
No aliens, psychopath or mtv host
Scares me like vampires, mummies and the holy ghost

--spoken:
"ohhhhhoooohoooo. its scary out here in the world of rock n'
Roll. ohooohoo. ahh haa haa haa haah, ah haa haa haaah. ahh
Haa haa, hegh achh ach.
Scared ya, didn't i? ha ha"